Posted by mom!
Today was Demani's first day at church! We were late of course...I bathed him and then his diaper needed changed...and then I had to change plans on what I wanted him to wear because he doesn't quite fit in his suit from Rachel and Rich yet.
People were so excited to see him and Demani was great - he slept through it all but I think in part only because he didn't sleep too much the night before! It was good to be back at church and to start to get back into the groove of things again.
I was talking with one of my lady friends, a wise mother, and I was saying how I felt we were prepared for labor and delivery but that I am not sure that I was prepared for after baby - so many conflicting feelings. And she nodded emphatically and said "yes, you're kind of ambushed!" And I said, "yes that is it exactly!" I've felt ambushed by many feelings, each of them to the point of overwhelmingly so. So many feelings...An awareness of being responsible for a life - talk about overwhelming! A feeling of awe in the miracle of birth and God's creation. And then feeling inadequate for what you've been charged with - which can lead to frustration. And ambushed by joy and love that you've never quite experienced before. I imagine it must be a glimpse of how much God must love us.
2 comments:
Bethany - I'm so glad you have good friends there to listen to you and let you share your feelings and identify with you! Cloud and Townsend say (in "How People Grow) that God's "Plan A" is people. That's often how he works in our lives, to challenge and grow us and bless us. Sounds like you're experiencing part of his plan in having a friend who will let you share your feelings and not judge you, and in having little Demani. And also by having a husband who helps you focus on what it means to be a mom.
Bethany- This is such a wonderful idea! I wanted to comment on this entry specifically because I can remember thinking the same thing-You read all the books about pregnancy and follow all the pregnancy advice and when people say, "This will change your life, you know.", you nod and say: "Yes, I know." But in reality you have no clue for what is about to happen! I remember looking at my friends and family after Meg was born and saying: "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME IT WAS LIKE THIS?" The highs are so high and the lows are so low. It's like a rollercoaster. In everything you say and do remember that God has entrusted you take care of one of His own. Enjoy the time because they do grow so fast. Focus on each stage because they move on to the next step before you know it-even when it seems that they will "never" crawl, walk, talk...you blink and they are! "Everything good and perfect comes from above..." I look forward to following Demani's blog!
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