While the video is loading...and loading... All is well here. We are all learning a lot these days...that feet are fun to play with, that mommy loves when I give her those wide mouth drooly smiles, that the will of a toddler is AMAZING, and that love isn't enough. My love that is. I realized this after losing my temper with Demani during another torturous diaper changing session. I immediately felt bad and asked Demani for his forgiveness and in the midst of our hug I was blindsided with the truth that my love isn't enough. It brought me to tears. I can't love Demani enough, though I love him so much I would do anything for him and still my love falls dreadfully short. My love for him doesn't prevent me from losing my temper with him. It doesn't keep me from getting so frustrated with him that I wonder if I should rethink preschool. My love for him doesn't absolve the times that what mommy has to do is more important than Demani. I can't love him enough. It was a sobering realization. And I wondered, what do I do with this? In that moment I was so aware of my short comings and my imperfection and my sin and thus so acutely aware of my need for God and His perfect love. It was such a vivid lesson for me. I really feel like something clicked for me... In order for me to love Demani the best I can, I have to love him with a love that is not my own. I have to open myself up and let God take control of Bethany and then and only then can I have any hope of displaying to Demani what love truly is.
The video never loaded (I finally accepted this after several tries taking several hours)....soooo here are some pictures. I'll try video again soon.
Nothing's better than eating cereal with Dad on my Spiderman couch and watching Monday Night Football!
Sleepy babies
Oatmeal and a Little Bear book (Thanks Mrs. Vickie!). What a way to start a day!
Some kids in our neighborhood built tepees in the woods next to our house.
2 comments:
Is that a little curl in Seren's hair I see? How cute! They're getting so big...I can't wait to squeeze and hug them! I also LOVED the picture of Mathwon and Demani eating and watching tv. And the one of D-bear reading while eating breakfast! Too cute. Can't wait to see you guys!
Love the pictures! Seren and Mechai are sure growing, and Demani is as cute as ever! Bethany, I still remember losing it with Rachel and Liz during their teens, and I loved them just as much then as when they were babies. Still do! It is hard to feel such opposing emotions, but very normal. All the more reason to depend upon God to give us the love and help that we need. You are a great mom, and you will do a great job with your 3 blessings!!! I love you all!
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